How to ask someone if you can give him a blow job

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It is much easier to have a healthy relationship when you are open to all parts of your man and yourself. Even if you're saying it to literally ask for a blow job, it has aggressive and insulting connotations. I think people become sick and twisted and cold and disconnected — not when they do get blow jobs, but when they reject these animalistic drives inside of them for too long.

When you are in a relationship, many men perceive a blow job as the ultimate act of love and acceptance. They really do — it really means that much! His parents were in a loveless marriage.

Truth: Why Do Guys Like Blowjobs?

This article is not meant to be rude or offensive in any way. My aim is to help women have close, committed, deep and passionate relationships. Part of achieving this is helping women understand more about men, what men want and why they want it. Despite this being a sensitive topic, I hope we can all approach it with a little light-heartedness and let us remember that oral sex has been around for many years. I am also not condoning or being promiscuous. I am also not aiming to tell women they have to give their man oral sex. My message is not for promiscuity or casual sex; I do not condone this. I condone healthy, strong committed and passionate relationships where each party does would you like a blowjob blame or reject any part of their partner we all have different, sometimes contradicting personalities inside of usand they each understand how the masculine and feminine energies operate. Yes, in some cliques and cultures, for example, football clubs, men use sex as an ego trip. Men use women, and they take no responsibility for their behaviour with women. You do not want to engage in sexual conduct with men like this — in fact, in most circumstances, you should avoid these groups of would you like a blowjob. When it comes to giving blowjobs, keep it inside a committed relationship. I just encourage oral sex and sex to be inside a committed relationship — so that women can avoid feeling used, dumped and hurt. Apart from a minority of women, does not enrich our life. This is fair enough, women have crazy hormonal cycles, and find it hard to make time to open up to a man sometimes. In fact, if you want a man to totally and completely commit to you, then provided you engage in physical intercourse after trust and emotional attraction with a man, then engaging in oral sex or any type of sexual intimacy is going to increase the likelihood of getting that deep commitment from a man. Although, this is definitely a part of why men want oral sex so much, too. The basic reason why men love being given oral sex is because it gives them a feeling of power. Another reason is because a blow job can be one of the ultimate feminine acts of love towards a man. A blow job is a healthy way for a man to access his dark masculine energy — his animalistic desire to dominate and feel powerful. I think people become sick and twisted and cold and disconnected — not when they do get blow jobs, but when they reject these animalistic drives inside of them for too long. Just as women have a desire deep down to be dominated by the most high value man around a man who has presence, who is trustworthy, who has status and who is also sensitive — think 50 shades of Gray. Deep down a man has the desire to feel like he has the freedom to dominate his woman every now and then. Yes, even the gentlemen who try not to own their own dark side. Also — this need to dominate is not restricted to men only. Of course, some women have a need to dominate sexually, and some men have a need to be submissive sexually. I doubt that most men have a deep seated need to be dominated by a woman — some men do, however, in most cases, men have a need to surrender to pleasure — and that is of course, one other reason why men love blow jobs. An Act of Submission The first reason men love blowjobs is submission. In order for you to exchange feminine and masculine energy, and give your man amazing oral sex from a mutual feeling of ecstatic attraction, you have to be vulnerable to him, and you have to submit to him. This is one quick way for a man to feel more like a man; having a woman give him oral sex. The visual aspect of submission is also a factor. Of course, the act of giving a man a blow job is a feminine act if she cares about himas a woman has to at least to large extent be in her feminine in order to actually give him oral sex. It is possible to shut down and remove yourself from the experience and not be fully present with your man when you are doing it though. And when we shut down and emotionally block out what we are doing — even while we are doing it, of course, this takes away the depth to the act, and it takes away the richness of the submission and it takes away the closeness of the act. In this way, giving a blow job whilst desensitising yourself to it reduces the value of giving a blow job. A Symbol of Vulnerability In order to give a man oral sex, a woman has to be vulnerable to him. In fact, she has to open to him and be comfortable with being vulnerable to him. Of course, some women engage in oral sex out of obligation, would you like a blowjob feel that they have to in order, so they do it. In other words, their heart is not in it. The would you like a blowjob of vulnerability goes hand-in-hand with the idea of trust. And of course, if you are comfortable being fully vulnerable to him, then this indicates that you are trusting of him. When you are in a relationship, many men perceive a blow job as the ultimate act of love and would you like a blowjob. They really do — it really means that much. If you are able to love the part of him that makes him a man, and take him in fully — then you will own him on another level. Admiration Question…if you were a big tough man, would you be turned on by the site of your woman kneeled in front of you, taking all of you in. Would you love it even more if she looked up at you, and allowed herself to surrender to this moment — to this way — of being with you. You get to feel like your woman admires you for being a man; the sex you were born as, and the sex you love to be. Men subconsciously or consciously see it as part of what makes them a man. But why do men perceive so much connection in sex. It can be hard for a man to go to his guy friends to talk, to connect and to feel loved. The masculine energy is all about doing whatever it takes, at whatever cost, to get the job done, moving on to the next challenge, putting an end to things — and letting go. It gives a man a sense of connection We women feel at home and thrive much more on oxytocin and connection with people or animals, or children. Not that men cannot connect with others through talking too. The difference is that men can, and often do feel this incredible feeling of connection through blow job and sex when they are in a relationship. This is one of the primary ways in which men can feel connected to, and loved by their woman. Some women are uncomfortable with the idea of giving their man a blow-job, because they dislike being vulnerable not that they consciously use these words. The reality is that men and women are both very much driven by sex — sex and procreation is behind much of our actions and decisions. Sexual energy can be used in many other ways to benefit an intimate relationship. More On Perceived Love Through a Blowjob Women often perceive love in different things than what men do obviously. A woman may perceive love in a man taking the time to listen to her, buy her gifts, take her out, commit to her, protect her, talk to her, put her first, hug her, caress her, call her, write her letters, making the first move, being the rock and the leader in the relationship, complimenting her, etc. Whilst many of these things are important to men too, men also perceive great love in would you like a blowjob given oral sex and having sex in general. They are not so much talkers like women are, and perceive that a woman loves him if she is sexually and energetically open to him — or if she does have sex with him. You do not have to give a blow job or have sex with a man in order for a man to feel all of would you like a blowjob things that I have just described. However, when you cannot have sex, or when your body truly does not want to open to sex because you need to trust a man more first, or because you need to bond with a man more first — which are all very important things. You can still give a blow job if you want to give a man a gift without having to have sex. But you should never do it out of fear or to try to keep a man around. There is something else that you can give that is much more valuable…here it is… Men want you to be open to them more than they want sex A lot of us, men and women, assume that would you like a blowjob men, sex and blow jobs are the most important thing, and we mistakenly assume that without sex, men will be unhappy. Well, at the core of it, it is a symbol of value from the woman — it is the hope of future access to a woman — it is a sense that she is open to him and him only. If you want to learn more about what it means to show openness, check this article:. In this respect, men speak a different language of love, and it is no use telling a man you love him, and admire him which is always fantastic, by the way. They had to be afraid of it — because if a woman makes a man a cuckold gets pregnant by another man whilst in a relationship with himthen that means a man spent valuable physical and emotional resources on her for nothing. It is, evolutionary speaking — the absolute worst thing that can happen to a man. So always remember — having sex with a man is not as valuable as making sure you stay emotionally and sexually open to him. This means not deliberately threatening the relationship in any way, cutting him off, giving the silent treatment, or giving the cold shoulder and trying to make him feel small. I am simply saying to remain open. In order to truly give to someone, you have to understand how they perceive love, and being taken cared of. Although you may not always perceive love in being given oral sex by him at least not as much as he perceives love in being given oral sexhe perceives love. This is sometimes very difficult for women to relate to, which is why I am writing this post. We have to look beyond what a man is saying he wants, and look deeper, considering what a man is really asking for. This leads to a painful contradiction for a man. When a woman does not reject her dark side, she is high value to men To a man, if a woman is energetically open to him and not rejecting of him if she is warm and lovingit is incredible value to him. It is much more important than just having sex or giving a blow job. Giving a blow job can be a dark act or it can be a light act — in other words, it can be loving and spiritual or it can be dark and dirty and liberating. If you do not regularly engage in sex, yet you truly do not reject your own dark sexual energy e. This is because you are free, and by being with you, a man is also free, even sexually free — free to be all that he is, sexually, and free to experience the whole realm of who you are and connect to the whole realm of who you are and all he is. That is the ultimate value and gift of freedom to a man. I am not here to tell you that you must give blow jobs. But I am here to let you know that a blow job is valuable to your man even if you do not feel like sex. You are a grown woman and you can make your own choices. But this importance is just here for perspective. It is only something for you to consider. It always helps to be open to understanding what is value to your man in a relationship. Maybe you are not ready to give blow jobs right now, and that is okay. In fact, that is more than okay, and it is necessary. Your man will have to accept that he is in a relationship with a female, not a male… At the end of the day, you are a woman, you naturally have menstrual cycles — and your desire for sex will change constantly, based on the time of the month, where you are in the world, how you feel, how your man makes you feel, how much trust you feel for your man, how willing you are to surrender and be out of control, and even how your girlfriends make you feel. Men are going to have to accept that if they want a woman — then they must love that they have a woman. For example, our man might not perceive much value in being romantic and generous to his woman, but his woman does. Of course, he would also enjoy sex and blow jobs. It is much easier to have a healthy relationship when you are open to all parts of your man and yourself. As uncomfortable and difficult as it can be. Do you want to understand men more. What do You think about this topic. Connect with me on social media. However, if a man cannot be satisfied to connect with me during sexual intercourse without requiring a blow job, then he can just move on. If that is the only way a man can truly feel that he is loved, valued and appreciated, then frankly, he should just switch sides and be with guys. At least, they would you like a blowjob understand one another and … Read more » men like blowjobs because it feels insanely good. That is, If she wants to keep him. Fair enough, if it works for her. She probably relates her efforts to what she gets from him in terms of a wealthy lifestyle etc. But here is the end of the story: one year later, he. But here is the end of the story: one year later, he filed … Read more » I am a man who has been married about 20 years. I still receive and give oral sex quite regularly. This article is fairly accurate, in my experience. I have zero tolerance for people who think that sexual needs are somehow illegitimate. Having someone worth blowing—and someone who will reciprocate in … Read more » Renee, You have a lot of great insights in this article that i have not seen elsewhere. But I am going to disagree on the domination -dark energy stuff. While we all have our dark sides, expressing this part of ourselves only brings more dark energy. We should work with our dark sides to transcend them instead. It degrades sex to power bartering, I hope you will choose to uplift sex instead. Completely pleasuring me of her own volition and desire. When a man goes down on you do you feel loved, adored or violated. Personally I dont like him going down on me. Not Violated, loved or adored. I just feel selfish I suppose. Plus hes all the way down there, Id prefer to be able to cuddle or kiss him. Probably why I never understood the whole Blow Job thing. I think I finally understand, and I am happy to do it for him. Plus it actually makes me sick, Like tummy bug sick… not kidding … Read more » :…we mistakenly assume that without sex, men will be unhappy. They only way that women can unmistakably affirm to him that this is the case is through the intimate connection made by engaging in the sexual act. But I believe you hit it on the head with relating it to them being a way to show your man your vulnerability, to give freely of your feminine energy, and being a way to express love of and acceptance of … Read more » I dont enjoy giving them, but I enjoy making him happy. Like a man to feel loved needs his woman to be as society sees her, and thus makes him feel as society sees him. But yeh, swallowing, seems mean. Like I did this for you, I helped you release it, lets get rid of it… no need to hang onto it in my digestive tract, … Read more » I actually think i feel more pleasure than him while doing it. It actually makes me feel very powerful, sexy, like a queen. I think women can feel pleasure from it as well, because the lips and the mouth is a very sexual and sensitive organ. As a woman i love kisses, i love when my lips are being touched, so yeah i would encourage women to try it, to play and enjoy it. The more I evolve as a conscious woman, the less I am interested in submission to make anyone else happy. This does not make me frigid, judgmental or unkind by the way, just really honest. Also, thanks for the very revealing stats: The happiest group is single women and after a line of other groups the unhappiest group is single men. No doubt, most men like blow jobs. And he picked me up and kissed me. See, he treats you nice, which makes you want to be nice back. His parents were in a loveless marriage. So he doesnt know any different. I tell him I need would you like a blowjob be treated lovingly, but hes still a bit cold. He then grew cold again, he still said he loved me, just was very affectionate. And I just didnt want to do it again. Until a few months later … Read more ».

I am simply saying to remain open. You can still give a blow job if you want to give a man a gift without having to have sex. There is something else that you can give that is much more valuable…here it is… Men want you to be open to them more than they want sex A lot of us, men and women, assume that for men, sex and blow jobs are the most important thing, and we mistakenly assume that without sex, men will be unhappy. Fair enough, if it works for her. This means not deliberately threatening the relationship in any way, cutting him off, giving the silent treatment, or giving the cold shoulder and trying to make him feel small. If she doesn't want to do it, what do you care? As uncomfortable and difficult as it can be. Myth: You have to love giving blow jobs in order to be sexy. This article is not meant to be rude or offensive in any way.